Handbook: Update CEO flaws (#16974)

handbook/company/leadership.md

@@ -4,15 +4,32 @@ This page covers the things managers and other leaders at Fleet need to know abo
 
 
 ## CEO flaws
-[Openness](https://fleetdm.com/handbook/company#values) is important, and so I want to live that by sharing the flaws I know I have. I’m fully responsible for improving the things below, listing them is no excuse. They are listed here for two reasons. The first one is so that people know it is _not just them_, but actually _my fault_. The second one is so I can improve, I hope that listing them here lets people know I appreciate when you [speak up to me about them](https://fleetdm.com/handbook/company/communications#performance-feedback).
+[Openness](https://fleetdm.com/handbook/company#values) is important, and so I want to live that by sharing the flaws I know I have. I’m fully responsible for improving the things below, listing them is no excuse. 
+
+These flaws are listed here publicly for two reasons. The first is so that people know it is _not just them_, but actually _my fault_. The second is so I can improve and be held accountable.
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+1. I have a bad habit of not wanting to impose.
+  - But this can result in me [over-specifying solutions for problems](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PUkMIBIStDe87drezqKURYz_ZAmMzQPg_PilmWORmsM/edit), instead of presenting the whole problem and putting someone in charge of it.
+  - You can say: "Mike, what was the original problem?  If I'm not the right person to run with solving it, I understand, but could you let me know some time candidly why I'm not?"
+2. I can get nervous and rush things.
+  - I can speak quickly.  It is ok to say “Mike, hold on a second.”
+  - I can be quick to criticize before I appreciate, especially if something looks almost done.
+  - I appreciate it when fleeties ask “What do you think of my work?” It reminds me I'm speaking in front of the sculptor, not just alone with the statue.
+  - I can hurry to decisions when I think something is time-sensitive or nearly ready to ship.  It is ok to say “I’m looking for early feedback" vs. “I’m not yet 70% sure I’m 100% done with this."
+3. I often need to talk to think.
+  - It is ok to set a boundary and let me marinade.  You might say: "Hold up.  What is our goal?"
+  - I get grumpy when I am tired and I worry that I'll forget to follow up about things.  So I try to say them all.
+  - I can talk too much.  On video calls, and especially during a screenshare session, I sometimes will keep talking longer than I otherwise would.  If you get lost, or overwhelmed, you can interrupt me or send a chat: "Hold up, I'm feeling out of phase from this conversation."
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+<!--  Cutting back on some content just to make this more readable.  Prioritizing the ones that matter the most. -mike feb 2024.
 
-- I often need to talk to think.  If you get lost, you can interrupt me or send a Zoom chat: "Hold up, could you go over that again?"
-- I can speak quickly.  It is ok to say “Mike, hold on a second.” (Noah is good at this.)
-- I can be quick to criticize before I appreciate, especially if something looks almost done.  I appreciate it when fleeties ask “What do you think of my work?” It reminds me I'm speaking in front of the sculptor, not just alone with the statue.
-- I can hurry to decisions when I think something is time-sensitive or nearly ready to ship.  It is ok to say “I’m looking for early feedback.”  It is ok to say “I’m not yet 70% sure I’m 100% done with this."
 - I can be inconsistent about how certain I sound about the same topics at different times.  Even when I am probably still certain.  That's because I try to question blind certainty, even my own. The problem is, I don't always remember why I first became certain about every topic.  It is okay to stop and share what you observe: "You seem less sure about this.  What's up?"  If I am waffling, it can be helpful to say "Did we write down a decision on that?  I'll make a GitHub issue." ([Luke](https://fleetdm.com/handbook/engineering#team) is good at this.)
-- I get grumpy when I am tired and I worry that I'll forget to follow up about things.  You can say: "Would it help if I made a confidential issue about this for you and Sam to go over tonight?"
-- I sometimes will keep talking longer than I otherwise would (ESPECIALLY OVER ZOOM AND ESPECIALLY WHILE SCREENSHARING) when it is harder to see faces and pick up on subtle cues. This is exacerbated by me being afraid I’ll forget to come back to the topic, and feeling like I have to get to address it immediately or it will be lost. When you think I am riffing 🎸 /monologuing 🗣️ on a tangential topic that isn’t on the agenda, it's ok to interrupt by sharing your screen and show me the sprawl visually in the notes you’ve been taking, select the text of the tangent and say: “I’m taking notes, and I noticed that we’ve veered onto a tangent. Do you want me to tag you in a Google Doc comment to follow up later on this?"
+- I sometimes will keep talking longer than I otherwise would (ESPECIALLY OVER ZOOM AND ESPECIALLY WHILE SCREENSHARING) when it is harder to see faces and pick up on subtle cues. This is exacerbated by me being afraid I’ll forget to come back to the topic, and feeling like I have to get to address it immediately or it will be lost. When you think I am riffing 🎸 /monologuing 🗣️ on a tangential topic that isn’t on the agenda, it's always ok to interrupt and tell me to my face, or send me a direct message.
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+> If you notice one of these flaws, and especially if you deliver feedback about it and don't feel heard, or you feel hurt, or you feel like I didn't "get it", please send me a link to this section of the handbook, or just interrupt me and tell me to my face.  I will be extremely grateful, and value your bravery in pursuit of what's in the best interest of the company.  (And if I don't, keep trying.  I'll come crawling back.  Promise.)
 
 
 ## Contact the CEO